Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Guest Match Report: Engineering Hotspur vs Hunters

Engineering Hotspur
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Tonight you join me on a particularly dreary night in Ethraynne, where we are about to kick off the first week in this years league. The excitement in the stadium tonight is positively palpable, as the crowd eagerly await for the opportunity to not only see their new team captain in action, but also the mysterious and unknown quantity of the 'Hunters' guild from the wilds of the north. 

Gracing the soggy pitch tonight will be;

Engineering Hotspur:
Pin Vice (c), Mainspring (m), Hoist, Velocity, Colossus, Gutter

Theron (c), Fahad (m), Hearne, Egret, Jaecar, Zarola

Rumour has is that one of the Hunter's number has sidelined Honour, the Mason's captain, and- Ah, judging by the crowd's reaction here come the teams! Before I leave you in the safe hands of my pitch side reporter Mike, remember to always wear Kick-Boots - the boots, that kick!"

Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games.

It was a wet and blustery night at Mechanical Heart Lane, the home of the Engineering Hotspurs. As the teams came out the tunnel, they were bombarded by the relentless wind and stinging rain. Let's hope Pin Vice remembered the oil can, there could be some rusty joints out there.

Kick-off goes to the home team, and Velocity nonchalantly trots up and starts us off with a sublime flick to the left wing.

Zarola picks up the ball and Fahad moves up to help cover his Hunter companion. Pin Vice tinkers with Colossus a bit, can't really see what she's doing though. Theron moves up and.... wait a minute, where'd that forest come from. Right in the way of the ball holder and Colossus. Theron then aims a massive arrow at Pin Vice's knee and misses. The rain really messing with the bow chord.

Hoist moves up followed by Egret having a pop at him finally some success with a bow, she snares the poor mannequin. Egret makes another move up to the edge of the forest. Colossus then winds up and charges straight into Egret. He comes thundering in and smacks her for a feeble amount of damage then seems to suffer some form of malfunction himself. What did Pin Vice do to him!?

The rest of the teams players move up, positioning themselves for the upcoming melee. Velocity then bounces off Egret into Zarola and steals the ball. Masterful footwork from the young lady-doll.

After a breathless turn, the Engineers go again. Velocity has a tangle at Zarola then sprints up the field. She lines up the shot…..surely she must score…… at the last second she slips and the ball goes sailing past the goal, a wry smile appears on her wooden face, and the fans are left aghast at what just happened.

Theron sees the danger and the magical forest has now appeared in front of the Hunters goal, talk about parking the bus, Theron has literally planted the bus! He pulls another ginormous arrow, lines up his shot and for the second time misses. Whoever looks after the bow strings is going to be sacked in the morning. The ball goes to Hearne who holds it in the midfield. Colossus smacks Egret, steals the ball from Hearne and flies down field for a shot on goal, he flicks it up and scores and
Highlight reel: Velocity missing her first goal attempt
absolute belter. He looks over at Velocity and winks.

Gutter and Hoist do some damage to Egret after the ball is kicked back out towards Jaecar and Hearne in midfield. There are some tussles and a few traps being flung about.

Next turn and Egret is low on health. Colossus spies an opportunity and takes her out of the game. She hobbles off the pitch, not sure if it’s the rain or tears streaming down her bloodied face.

Jaecar moves up with the ball, he can’t quite get it out from under his feet and scuffs his shot wide. Mainspring collects the ball and Pin Vice moves back to give the little mascot options. More punch-ups in the middle with Gutter, Hoist and the Hunters.

Mainspring then jogs up to Pin Vice and lays the ball at her feet, she then moves up and plays a slide rule pass through to Velocity who’s waiting to volley it in. Velocity tries an overhead kick and the balls ricochets off her shin and it’s gone into row Z. The crowd are really on her back now. The ball returns to the centre of the pitch where Gutter picks it up. She moves out to the right flank to where Egret has returned and after a vicious Scything blow leaves her on 1 health.

Jaecar closes in on Pin Vice and takes her out of the game. Looks like a broken arm and one of her wooden legs has been smashed in. Zarola moves across to cover Egret and stop Gutter having an easy shot on goal.

The Engineers lose out on the first turn, Egret steals the ball from Gutter, but Gutter immediately tackles back, she hits Zarola moves off and scores a world class screamer. Colossus and Gutter celebrate together in front of Velocity, She turns away muttering something. In all the commotion Gutter completely forgot about Egret. Hoist then ran up and smashed her, taking her out and taking the game.

End score: Engineers 12 - 2 Hunters

"It may have been a slow burner, but boy did it have it share of surprises. The Engineers certainly could have done with applying a touch more WD40 to Velocity after her two glaring misses; she had all the time in the world for the first one! It was worth the wait though, after a thunderous strike from Colossus and a gem of a goal from Gutter.

Until next time, don't forget to ball!"

Sponsored by Kick-Boots - The boots, that kick!

Clutch Plays:
  • Velocity missed goal (4 dice)
  • Colossus goal (screamer)
  • Colossus > Egret
  • Velocity missed snap shot (5 dice)
  • Gutter Goal (screamer)
  • Hoist > Egret
  • Jaecar missed a goal (2 dice)
  • Jaecar > Pin Vice?

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